Until the sky is blue

Every time I am down
Every time I am let down
By people
By expectations

By actions
Then someone
Someone shows me

Someone shows me undirectly
That it doesn't matter,

They show me
Their humility,
Their efforts
Or their generosity.

They show me there is much worse out there

And then I release the dark clouds
I let them pass me by
There is no point holding them back

So I will try to blow them away...
Yes I will blow them away
Until the sky is blue

And then I will keep trying.
Because that's really all I can do.

The Queen of Tarts

I went to the Queen of Tarts today in town ( no I am not making it up and because I thought it was funny it inspired me this little piece.)

l went to the Queen of Tarts today
I ordered a Bishop and ate like a King
Then came this man hassling the waitress
I asked for a knife
She asked for a knight.
I looked around said I saw neither.
I wouldn't be a pawn.
The waitress charged me twice
I was played like a Rookie.

;-)

Pieces

First of all, I am so glad to be back, to kick that creativity again, unleash it without constraint, without restrain, without double guessing myself. It is good to be back. Now on that note, how I am going to extricate something good out of me, something worthwhile out of this picture (which is all together cleverly made)

You think you can clip them back, don't you?
You think you can assemble the pieces and call it whole again?
You broke my heart, damn it!
You broke my heart and even if the pieces fit,
Even if the image of me is smooth again.
Beneath,
Deep beneath,
It is trembling,
It is shuddering,
From the earthquake you inflicted upon me.


Poem inspired from the Magpie Tale wonderful picture
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

Upstart - D-Day !

This is it! The Election Day has arrived and Upstart is coming to a close. It is like a line closing on itself, although it isn't because there is talk of continuing Upstart in a new direction.
(Yeaaah!)
Err, I mean: "I am delighted to hear this." 


No final decisions have been reached as yet, but Upstart has started the planning process; one of their firsts step will be to consult Upstart artists, contributors and supporters themselves and to find out what people want/need from us.

Grave nod.

Regards to the future of the blog, Upstart would like to continue blogging after the election day.
(Yes!)

Would you still be interesting in Blogging with us?
(Hell yes!)
I should very much like that. She replied in a professional manner.

There will still be plenty to blog about regards to Upstart opinions, the elections, and project related events and activities.
Oh goodie!

If you are interested in continuing blogging after that date, please let me know how you are fixed to attend another Blogger's meeting on Tuesday 2nd March
You can count me in! 


So that's it. If I should summarise the past week and half I would say that I never wrote and read so furiously before (well aside from the book I have been trying to write) I wrote 9 articles and there are still more on the go, discovered 13 writers/poets, been to 3 events, talked to 7 writers, interviewed 5, discovered 3 musicians. I mean it is been a hell of a week and half!!
 However what I will do from now on is that I will keep both blog separate. I want to try to keep this one as a personal rumbling and the Upstart blog as a professional rumbling.

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 1 days !

Damn I was going to miss that deadline again.
What I am currently doing?
Well I have been sending emails around, preparing interviews ( trying to personalise them) reply to people, checking if they are upcoming events that I could cover, adjust and tweek around on articles, that type of stuff and it is amazing how much time it takes me.
So I better head back and keep typing away.

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 2 days !

Oh no!!! I have missed my daily deadline!!! Damn! I completely forgot to create a post yesterday!

Tonight, I am going yet to another Poetry underground venue. It is the Brownbreadmixtape event. It is located upstairs in the Stag's Head pub. I have been told to come early as it might be very crowded.
I will probably write an article about it tomorrow on the Upstart blog.

I have to organise at least three interviews and three others are lined up but I have only ten fingers and one head so I will take one at a time.

Feel free to read and react to the Upstart blog:
http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 4 days !

Tonight as a Upstart blogger member and for the first time ever, I am going to dive into the underworld of Poetry. I feel pretty excited about it.

I am going to attend to a Glór Session at the International Bar. The session starts at 9.00 p.m.
I don't know what to expect. In fact, let's be truthful here, I don't know anything. I don't know the place, the audience, the type of performance or the atmosphere.

It is complete leap of faith into the unknown.
So I am going to dive in and hopefully we will see each other on the other side.

Feel free to read and react to the Upstart blog:
http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 5 days !

And on the Seventh Day, God rested and urged the world to do so too.

And so I rested.

But really I didn't. I was really behind with the writing. So from 6 p.m to after midnight, I wrote my late articles for Upstart. One to summarize how my Friday as an upstart blogger had been and one how the Saturday interviews went. 
Plus bits and pieces in between.
I struggled with both articles. But when I was done, I was pretty happy with myself and then I went to bed.


Feel free to read and react to the Upstart blog:
http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 6 days !

So the meeting with the Three Writers? There are Poets actually.
And how did it go?
I don't think I will do them any justice by writing something quick here and right now. I just couldn't. This has to be carefully thought out and I am too tired to produce something... anything at this time of the day.
My brain is a slushed puddle of mud.
I will come back and edit this tomorrow.

Feel free to read and react to the Upstart blog:
http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 7 days !

Tomorrow should be a busy day. Did I say busy? I mean it should be very very very busy!

Yes.

And what did I do today?

First let me thank you for asking me. Well today I have been jugling with emails and time and fight against Yahoo and Google and Facebook. No, there are not bullies although sometimes I feel like they are!

There is only so many things you can fit in a day. I have tried to ask God for 26 or 30 hours in a day but he said: "No can do!"

So despite it all, I was able to create a schedule so that I could meet with three writers.

The interviews for tomorrow have been setting for respectively 11 am, 13 p.m and 15 p.m.

Although in theory my intent is to keep the interviews short and sweet (around 20 minutes each) I know I will probably be talking to the writers after (and vice versa) and hopefully they will want to talk to me too otherwise well ...I guess I will look very odd talking to myself in the bar, won't I?

So that is the plan if all goes well.

Then I might be able to tag along with our favorite blogger 'on the street' here at Upstart and see her work in real live action. And then if everything still goes according to plan, I will go to the "Screenwriters in conversation" event taking place at the Ilac center and learn one thing or two about the screenwriting talents happening in the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival this year.

Oh yeah and incidentally, The  Upstart blog is LIVE!!!!

so Anyone and Everyone can debate on how it means to them to bring Arts to the Public scene !!

So Please feel free to go the Upstart Blog and give your views/reactions:

http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart - Countdown to D-Day in 8 days !

So I think I could summarise Today's day in numbers:
I have contacted/exchanged emails with:

• 7 writers
• 4 organizers
• 5 Upstart members.
• Sent 6 distributions lists emails to promote the Upstart Project to the public.
• Clicked on 15 websites
• Typed 18 578 characters and therefore 2978 words. I have counted them all!
• Ate 1 meal.
• Being shut down once
• Ignored twice.
• Sneezed twice. (I know that's pretty irrelevant to the project but if I didn't let them out, maybe I wouldn't be here to write this entry! ;-))
• Drank 578 milliliters of tea, coffee and orange juice ( not all mixed together! And yes I had to measure the liquids - no wonder why the time passes by so quickly!! ;-)
• And all this over the course of 9 hours.

I think that's pretty much it for today.

All things considered, a really uneventful day when you think about it.

Feel free to read and react to the Upstart blog:
http://upstart.ie/blog/

Upstart!

Are you up for a start?

Yesterday I was invited to a startup, only it isn't one and the name of the organisation is UpStart.

Confused yet?

It is really simple.

UpStart is a non-profit arts collective which aims to put creativity at the centre of public consciousness during the Irish General Election Campaign in 2011.

Yesterday six of us, six bloggers came answering the call. Two were missing in action but we were told they will enrol soon.

Basically we were invited to form a fleet. And what a formidable fleet that was! It was as engaging as watching the beginning of a revolution. We were going to be brothers in arms; Uniting under the same flag; Fighting for the cause of creativity. We were Soldiers of Art.

Private L.A Speedwing?

Yes Sir!

What can you bring to his batallion, soldier?

Although slightly intimidated at first, I explained how I could contribute to win this battle and at the end of it, I can proudly say that I was part of the rank and file.

My mission:  Write every day for the Upstart blog and get as many writers interviews to bring their views and reactions to this project.

My weapons: One computer. One dictaphone. One brain.

Time constraint: Ten days.

So here is my pledge of allegiance:

I, Laura A Speedwing will honor, protect and serve the interests of Upstart bringing as many writers' voices as I can into this project.” (That is if they answer my call.)

Salute.

At ease Soldier!

Phew.

I said: “At ease, it doesn't mean rest! You have work to do. Those writers await you. Sling your weapons and off you go!”

Sir! Yes, Sir! 

Next I will BE FIRING questions!!!!

For more details, is here an article on the project:
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/51351/99999999/1/1/

Also here is the link to the New Upstart blog!! 
http://upstart.ie/blog/?cat=18

The Fresh Trail to Jungle of your Library

Last night, I went to the Blanchardstown Library. It was fairly empty and only a few lost souls were wandering about.
As you know you can get lost in libraries. Maybe that's why libraries are so great.  


Anyway, as usual I found myself diving in their Jungle of Books. Now because this Jungle is a rather big one, it nearly always feels like I'm going on a Treasure Hunt.
So sometimes when I can't find that treasure, that coveted book, I ask for a guide.
The Jungle Guides rule over this Realm of Silence with great wisdom. Yet they are always very polite and helpful. They'll have no problem leaving the safety of their desk to head into the wild. They're always on the look out for the next treasure.
However following a Jungle Guide require skills. As if you're not fast enough, you might lose Him or Her in the Geography section when a minute ago, you were certain you'd seen them in the dark corner of the Religion section. But a moment of distraction and you're lost again.
So, my advice to you is: for your safety, stick with them.

They dive and turn at every wild corner like smooth jaguars. They will make mighty leaps across the fields so you better watch your step or you will never find your way back out of that jungle of books.
Lots of people before me claimed to have found that fresh trail, circled around and never returned.
But if you are vigilant and alert enough, you might just be able to keep track of that guide and arrive safely to the promised land of that sought-after book.

Valentine's day.

It is Valentine's day. Surely I could come up with something good.
But I don't.
However my two lovers did. Yes, I am lucky that way. I have two lovers and they treated well today.
I got:

1- Thai-Style Fishcakes finished with an aromatic Acacia Honey and Ginger glaze

2- 21 day ( not 22 now! 21 and I could taste the 21 days!)  Matured Irish Beef Rump Saunce Steaks served with a creamy Peppercorn Sauce wine and Brandy


3- Garlic Mushrooms with soft cheese topped with Breadcrumbs


4 -Lightly poached raspberry compote flooded with a Belgian Chocolate Ganache
(I didn't know anything could be flooded with anything else than muddy water. How wrong can you get?)

Now. You want the names of my lovers?
I can share. That's not a problem. That's Michael and Thomas.
That's right, also known as Marks and Spencer.

Any way, they should treat me more often. But beggars can't be chosers.

Mental note: Why do they keep using capital letters at the beginning of every word when presenting a meal?
Do we eat capitals? No we don't!!

By The Phone Replaced

It is again an hour before midnight and I still do not know what I am going to write. Actually I might just have an idea this time.

Following the dullest ( his quote) post ever by Peadar frozen stories' blog on his comment about replacing his ancient, battered Nokia, I decided to make a similar list. I hope he won't mind.

Popular Devices
Flashlight? No.
E-kindle? No.
Mobile phone with Internet connection? No! With touch pad? No! With camera or video? No!
Podcasts? What? No!
SatNav? No!
Recording TV? I just entered the era of recording T.V shows. The only problem I found is how to record more than one minute of a show at a time.

Maybe it will be quicker if I make a list of what I own.

Owned devices
Mp3 player - an 8 gb Zen stone and I still can't be bothered to look how to change my music tracks.
all my music is now on my phone's SD card
Computers - one dinosaur and one mammoth.
An old battered Nokia phone.

Wish to partly replace
The brain, the place I live in, the content of the place I live in, the housemate, the car, the computer, the telephone but I think that would just be too costly so I might as well give up wishing...

New Functions
How to use it all?

The Superfluous

Wow. Ever feels like you are going backwards with the writing?
Well this is how I feel with that "£$@!~& book at the moment.
I mean okay you edit, and then you edit and then you edit some more. But seriously, this is insane.
I know I am all over the place. I have been editing this back and forth, back and forth for far too long but this is how I work. I can't work or edit page by page, progress linearly as they say. I just can't.
So now for the first time (third draft) I am re-reading the story entirely.
That means from the beginning.
Yeah of course from the beginning. Doh. The thing about that is that I just came out from the other end of the tunnel and re-reading the beginning again, well it just reads too darn awful! The story have progressed so much that re-reading the beginning feels really weird and it feels disconnected from the end. Writing is such a strange process.
Actually If I re-read the four above lines, I know (pausing and correcting myself) I mean I am guessing that it is not only the story that has progressed but I have progressed with it. And re-reading myself feels like I am reading an amateur. Which I am. But still!!
I guess it took me so long to know where this was going that I lost myself with it, well I know I was lost and now that I do know where this is going, I see that the story has to move and go to the point (which i thought I had updated but obviously not enough.)
It should mean that it is a good thing, right? I have progressed. Wrong!
Although I can now see the excess, the superfluous, the wasted, the inessential, it is also causing me to wonder if I am going to re-read the whole thing feeling this way.

Did I actually write this story at all or did someone else do it for me?
I wonder.

Prestine

Oh how perfect it looked from the outside, wrapped neatly in its prestine green walls, nestling down in immaculate snow. How very tidy indeed.
Just looking at it, you can almost smell the virginity seeping through the four walls.
Four little steps of stone to paradise, they thought.
Four walls to provide you warmth, they said.
Four walls to keep you safe.

Oh but if they knew.
All the horrors inside.

© Copyright 2011




(Go here to get inspired by Magpie Tales.)

Bossy Boots

Wow. Twice in a row. It is evading me. I have been looking for it for two days now.  That's far too long. I dug and dug everywhere, pushed and lifted things around, looked under the sofa,  in the kitchen, in the fridge, in the toilet, nothing.
My mind is going blank at the moment. No inspiration. No can do.
Game over.
Player one wants to play again?
Well...huh...She is looking right and left, then straight at the blank screen. She gulps. Is there no escape button for these type of thing? Don't I have the right for a joker card or something?
No!
No?
NO. You can't escape. You are not a quitter!
Give me a break. Just for tonight?
If you start looking for a way out, then who's gonna stop you from walking away entirely?
Err..you?
Damn straight! And who am I?
My conscience!
Rightly so! So we are on the same page then!
She grunts.  
You can be so bossy at times, do you know that?
Well I would be doing a terrible job if I wasn't, wouldn't I?
Alright then. It is done. 206 words produced. Are you happy now?
See? It wasn't that painful, was it?
She grunts again. 

High and low

Today was yet another pretty low day. I guess it is just little things that accumulates, what people say, what people don't say...

Mr Ransom's book

Last night, I sent an email to Mr Ransom. 

Christopher is his first name. 

Distinguish feature about him: he likes Camper shoes. Funny article, Mr Ransom! ;-)

Achievement: Author of his first novel called The Birthing House. 

Well I don't know if he is going to reply to me. I hope he does because I have read his blog and he just sounds as funny/sarcastic as his book. 

As I said in the mail I sent him, his book is forever linked to a specific moment in time which in my case, rarely happens. It was on the 12th of May 2010. Why do I remember the date?
It was the day I took the ferry. I won't explain why I had to take it but let's just say I had to. 

So I crossed the Irish channel between Ireland and France. All I had with me was a car, a sleeping bag and a book. His book and an eighteen hours journey ahead of me. 

You think I was travelling with only one author? But I should actually correct that fact for you.
Luckily for me on this journey, two authors accompanied me : Him, Christopher Ransom and nothing less than Oscar Wilde himself. Well not exactly but whose gonna notice? 

What? Oscar Wilde is dead? 

Alright, then! I guess that was just the name of the Ferry but it mattered not! I was still travelling with two writers. I liked to think it was a sign. Any way, the Ferry departed around 20.00 p.m and I didn't go to sleep before quite a while.
I read a good bit of the book on that evening. Then I went to find my sleeping bag and tried to sleep. I felt a bit gloomy and my morale was low. To top the lot, it was rather difficult to sleep since the floor kept moving making a rumbling noise. But I guess that's what Ferries do.

Any way the next morning, I woke up watching this expedition anew. It was a bright blue day. Blue on blue actually. A blue sea meeting a blue sky. 

I had the most boring breakfast I ever had. I think it was a yogurt and some water and that was it. 

I went on the deck and enjoyed the moment. Except from the ripples and rolls from the Ferry turbines the sea was pretty calm. So I let the placid blue giant lifting me from one part of a land to another and took a deep breathe. I thought how taking the boat made the traveling so much stress less than the plane. You do get anywhere quicker by plane but the traveling experience is just not the same at all. I thought how this crossing could almost feel like a cruise. And it felt great to think that for a moment. It reminded of that series "the Love Boat" and that made me smile. People walked leisurely about the boat as if there were on holidays.
Around twelve, I ate and found a wooden bench on the deck exposed to the sun. I sat and congratulated myself. It was the perfect spot since it also sheltered me from the still cool sea breeze of May.
I opened the book, Mr Ransom's book and started reading away. I was getting to some heated parts which made me smile alone because well, I just didn't expect that in the book.
Every thing at that moment just got so perfect. I mean here I was in a perfect warm sunny day, the first ever sign of summer after a long very long winter, sitting on a warm

wooden bench, on a ferry enjoying the work of an unknown author who was no longer unknown to me and who, I should add, was able to surprise me.
Yes, Mr Ransom and I failed to mention this in my email, you managed to surprise me. I didn't expect anything and I got everything. I was entertained by the plot, by the writing, by your personality seeping through the book and that is what a good book is about.
Afterwards I thought how funny it was to think that this author was millions of miles away from me and yet also right there with me.

Any way that's all I wanted to say about that book and that author, which is quite a lot actually if I compare it to the other entries I wrote.
Good Night Ireland. Good Night America.

Ghost Writer

Have you ever written so much that when you eventually go outside to buy some food to the near shop, it actually feels like you are still in a dreaming stance?
Well that how it felt to me right about an hour ago. People have walked past me to walk their dogs or wheel their bins in or out in the crisp air, but it just felt to me as if they were not there. 
I felt like my feet were connecting with the pavement but they were not really connecting.
I felt as if the kids playing in the street were just reminiscents of my waking dreams, as if the check out guy was just smiling at someone else. His smile passed right through me. Like a ghost.
Nothing felt real except maybe the waxing crescent of the moon profiling in the night and the sharp pointy stars glittering away.
Everything else was just passing me by. It really felt odd and at the same time great. For once, I felt I was on a different plane (and I don't even smoke) as if time has escaped me which changes so much for all the times I felt not productive enough, not fast enough with the writing.
For once, I felt time had stopped and time was no longer slipping away from me. I wish the feeling could have last a little while longer.

The Gates to Nothingness

Today, I don't feel particularly inspired.
If I should reflect on how this experience of blogging has gone so far, I would say I am mostly surprised how I managed to find something to talk about on a daily basis.
There were some days where just thinking that I will have to come forth with something new within the next minute or so created a thrill in me.
There were some days where I would think: "Hey, I know what I am going to talk about!" and that was cool too.
Obviously, there were the odd times where I drew a blank but it didn't last long.
Tonight though, because I am mostly tired, it is a bit more difficult. Instead of entering the gates to the joy of writing, I am entering the gates to nothingness.

Neither struggling, neither enjoying to write, I am just shuffling along.
I just passed the gates.
Wait...not quite...that was a just lamp post...damn gates...can't see a thing...it is just too foggy out there...
There...
Thank God.

All mighty the penman!

I was watching the other day, the Last Samurai and it came to me that penmanship was very much like swordmanship.
As the character in the movie observed and reflected on the art of living and fighting, I thought how very similar the two arts are.
Writing is very much about observing and reflecting. It is also about fighting.
Mastering your penmanship requires practice, introspection and perseverance. 
As I watched the character progessing with his craft, I noticed how his sword became an extension of himself, an extension of his expression and I was thinking how pen and sword have the same ability to point at, to delve, dive in and out, swinging, drifting or lunging in space sometimes swiftly, sometimes deadly slow.

 The sword brushes through the air the way a pen brushes on paper. Sometimes the craft flows and sometimes it screeches to get by. And you will make sure it develops to be crisp and precise. You will need poise and self-discipline but if you do, then you will be able to compose many beautiful combinations.

But be careful, nothing is sharper than double-edge words.

Got to go!

Like the Supertramp song said, got to go (Feel no shame)  Got to go (Come tomorrow), I'm sorry I must tell you (Feel no pain) Yes I'm leaving (Feel no sorrow).
Got to go... Come Tomorrow!

Norbert Valiant

I hadn't heard from ..wait...how can I call him? Mr N.V? Mmmh...no, maybe we will call him "Norbert Valiant" because you need to be brave to be working for the company he works for.

Besides I wasn't sure he wanted to be named in my blog.
So Norbert, when you will read this, I hope you like the name.

Any way, tangenting here, I hadn't heard from Norbert in a while so I decided that I should ask how he was doing. After all, we worked together and (as far as I am concerned) the work relationship went well.
I received his email on a sunday and was delighted to read that he was fine.
We exchanged civilities.
I said how the plot of my story had been driving me spare since I have started on this writing journey.
He was his gentleman self and gave me his best of luck wishes on the book.
He even offered to help. In fairness, I didn't expect it and although a bit surprised at first, I thought: "How nice. Maybe. I will think about it. After all, it is not often I get help."


However and after careful consideration, I had to turn it down.

He said and I quote:" if you looking for a plot to work on, you can always work on my garden. :-))"


So Norbert, I am really sorry but I don't think growing tomatoes in your garden will help my plot.
No offense I hope.

Cleopatra

She looks up to him, so high up there, so tall that she can barely see his eyes. She doesn't like him for his eyes any way. She likes him for his big feet and his gentle hands.
She turns round and round, hesitating, vigilant of any suspect noises, approaching, backing away. There is no disturbance, so she settles in and nestles cosily on his feet. She looks up to him again. That's where she likes to be. She likes to be right here, safe and protected, between the feet of the gentle giant.

He looks down on her from all his height. He smiles fondly at her. She is after all so cute. Her nose is so pink and her blue eyes so innocent. He gently bends so she wouldn't be frightened.

She is used to him now so she stays. Her eyes blinks all the same when she hears the rustle of a leave but it is alright.

He notices how bold she has become. She was so terrified before and now she demands his attention. It makes him smile. She has these long black eyeliners against a dramatic white greyness that makes her looks so significant. The lines extend about a quarter of an inch past her actual eyes ending with an upward flick. And she gets it right every time because that's who she is.


Cleopatra, the kitten.

It is called cheating

Last week I discovered that I was on pacific time. Well not me obviously. Although I wish ( Would that be great to be in the Pacific right now? Blue ocean, sunshine, palm trees, sea breeze...stop dreaming) Maybe that's why I feel out of sync lately.
Maybe.
No.
I am always out of sync.
Any way, the blog was on pacific time. Or as I found out any blog created on blogger. It is the default time.
Around week one or was it around week two? I did realize that the time I created a new post didn't match the computer time, but I shrugged. So what?
No biggie.
Then I actually checked if I was traveling back in time or ahead and how very convenient: if I created that post around 11 p.m then it will appear at 5.00 p.m. Very handy.
Great.
I shooed the little voice that said that I was cheating. And then since it did catch up with me, I looked a bit. So many tabs. It sounded like hard work. I would have to research through the web. I gave up.
Then I realized that people couldn't not make free comments on the blog. So I looked it up. And I found both where to change the settings.

So now I am not cheating. It is set to the Irish time.