The Turgid, the Putrid and the Cupid - Introduction

I don't feel particularly inspired today, nor do I feel like talking about writing. That is kind of a problem for someone who is supposed to write a blog about writing.
All the heads turning on her ...
Oh err...She clears her throat...hello there...How are you? Waiting for something?
She giggles nervously.
Ah yes! Of course.
Well......let's start...so as you know this course is about words...
She straightens up and tries to take on her most professional voice.
"Well today, Ladies and Gentlemen, you are in luck because that's exactly what we are going to talk about!"
She desperately racks her mind to find a subject. Something emerges. Surprisingly.
"Yes today, we are going to discuss the deep deep meaning of writing, so deep you will never see the bottom of it."
Her voice takes on a more confidence tone.
"From the beauty of the words, to their pronunciation as well as the visual appeal and emotions behind them to the metaphysicality of it all, you will be blown away."
She looks over the window then at her watch. 
"But unfortunately that's all I got for you today folks! The Introduction lesson is over."
Phew...she takes the sweat out of her forehead and congratulates herself.
I think you have fooled them.
Really, you think so?
Yes, yes...look, they are already asleep.
Good.
"So tomorrow folks, we will start the real lesson on the Metaphysicality of words or as I named the course:
"The Turgid, the Putrid and the Cupid."
Someone somewhere snores.
Where did you get that title?
That's all I could come up in so little time!!
How about the " The Verbose and Vernicose"?
That's too pompous...
And this one is not?
Naw...Nobody will notice.
Class dismissed.